Freaked Out

About a year and half after our first son, Jack, was born, Rick went to a Redskins football game.  His friend, John went with him; they took the Metro into the stadium at RFK.  I didn’t mind; Jack went to sleep early and I had started a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle.  I had the game on and it was over around 9:30 p.m.  I was making great progress on the puzzle.

At around 11:00 o’clock, I decided to go into bed, thinking Rick would be home soon.  I went to sleep and was startled when I woke up and happened to look at the clock.  It was 1:00 in the morning.  Oh my god!  He’s dead.  I’ll be a widow!  He's dead.  Don't be dead, Rick.  I headed toward the closet and got my clothes on; I wanted to be dressed for the police when they came to the door.

My heart was beating like crazy.  I walked out to the dining room and started pacing.  I sat down and put a few pieces in the puzzle and then, I couldn’t take it anymore.  I decided to call Steve; he went to the game.  He had season tickets; if he wasn’t home then maybe Rick was okay.

I dialed the rectory at 1:30.  A groggy Steve answered the phone.  “Steve, it’s Jane.  What time did you get home from the game?” I asked.  “It was a little after ten.  Why?  What’s going on?” he asked.  “Um, Rick went to the game with John and he’s not home; I’m a little freaked out.” I replied, trying not to cry.  He said, “I had a parking pass and didn't take Metro; it’s much faster.  I’m sure he’ll be home soon.”  I thanked him and hung up.  I went back to the puzzle.

I have an 18 month old baby and now, I’ll be a widow.  Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead!  Do the puzzle, Jane.  He’ll be home soon.  I worked on the puzzle and cried and wiped my tears.

At 2:30 I heard the keys in the door; I just sat there.  “You’re up,” he said.  I looked at him; my nose was red and the tears were streaming down my face.  “What’s wrong?” he said as he came near the table. 

“You have no idea what you put me through,” I said very calmly.  “I can’t even speak to you.”  I got up and walked into the bedroom.  He followed me.

“Janie, I’m sorry,” he said.  “John and I went out to breakfast and time got away from us while we were talking.”  “You couldn’t call?” I managed to say.  “I didn’t want to wake you and the baby,” he explained.

“Rick, I thought you were dead!  I got up and got dressed to wait for the police to come tell me,” I sobbed. “Oh gosh, Janie, I’m so sorry,” he hugged me to him and I cried and cried.

“Rick, you know my father died in a car accident; I couldn’t take it if you died. These things happen to people. Next time, wake me up.”