I had not put in for being alone. A friend later told me that his motto in life is, "If it's meant to be, it's up to me." I found that to be an empowering statement. I had a choice to be overwhelmed with my new life or to choose to make my happiness given new circumstances. There are silver linings. I am a strong woman; I know that, but didn't have any idea just how strong, until faced with tremendous obstacles.
When my son was dropped suddenly by a girlfriend a few years later, I was so pained to see him suffer. As I tried to comfort him I said, "This is small potatoes, Jack. We have been through so much. We lost Daddy and never expected to be the same. You are strong; this is a bump in the road. I know that it hurt,s but you have survived so much more. This is her loss; you are going to be fine."
On the day Rick died, I couldn't see my world or future without him. Time was my friend as I climbed the mountain of the first year; it was hard to see where I was going. All that seemed to lie ahead was more difficulty. However, reaching the summit gave me a vista of possibilities. It wouldn't be easy and there were still many pitfalls ahead, but I had made progress.